Totum Table: Totum Thoughts: From Awareness to Compassion
Welcome back to the Totum Table. I’m so glad you’re here. Take a moment, pull up a chair, and let's just be for a while.
In our last conversation, we talked about the power of self-awareness—of listening to your mind, heart, and gut. Today, we're taking the next courageous step on that journey: responding to what you hear with self-compassion.
Once we become aware of our feelings or physical sensations, we can choose to respond with kindness rather than criticism. Self-compassion isn't about letting yourself off the hook or making excuses. It's about treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a dear friend. It’s the gentle response to the wisdom your mind, heart, and body hold, especially when they're speaking of pain, stress, or imperfection.
A Gentle Check-In
Let’s use the same format to practice this new skill. We will focus on checking in with our mind, heart, and guts!
Pull up that chair and take a moment to listen.
Listening to the Mind, with Compassion
When we listen to our thoughts, we often hear the inner critic first. The one that says, "You should have known better," or "You're not good enough." Self-compassion invites you to step back from that judgment and respond with grace.
Instead of getting tangled in those critical thoughts, try offering yourself a simple, kind phrase. For example:
Thought: "I'm so terrible at this."
Compassionate Response: "This is a new skill for me, and it's okay to make mistakes. I'm learning."
Just as you would offer a friend patience during a tough time, you can offer it to yourself.
Listening to the Heart, with Compassion
Your emotions have a message for you. When you feel sadness, anger, or frustration, it's easy to want to push those feelings away or judge yourself for having them.
With self-compassion, you can simply allow the emotion to be there and offer yourself comfort. You might place a hand over your heart and say to yourself:
"It's okay to feel this way."
"This is a difficult moment, and it will pass."
This isn’t about fixing the emotion. It's about validating your experience, creating a space where your feelings are seen and accepted, just as they are.
Listening to the Gut, with Compassion
Our bodies often hold the physical weight of stress and difficult emotions. When you notice a clenched jaw, tight shoulders, or a knot in your stomach, your body isn't telling you that you're weak. It's telling you it needs attention and care.
Self-compassion helps you respond to these physical signals with tenderness. You might:
Take a few deep breaths and whisper, "It's okay to slow down."
Notice the sensation of a racing heart and whisper, "My body is working hard to protect me. Thank you."
This practice is about honoring the wisdom your body holds and responding to its needs with a loving touch, not a critical one.
From Awareness to Compassion
The journey to your most authentic self is not about becoming perfect. It’s about becoming whole—and that includes learning to befriend your imperfections. Self-awareness is the key that unlocks the door to your inner world; self-compassion is the warm light that allows you to see everything inside with kindness.
This is a skill, and it takes practice. Know that you don't have to navigate this journey alone. Totum Counseling is here to be your trusted guide. We encourage you to take that first step and reach out to us to begin this supportive journey toward your most authentic self.